Dear Future Lover

Hi. I can’t put into words how much desire I have to have you in my life already. But first and foremost, I would like you to know that I haven’t introduced anyone yet to my family. I wanted you to be my first and last. I would want you to meet the people I lived with in the entire years of my life.

To be honest, I am an asshole, I am not as good as anybody, I have done a lot of mistakes and failures in the past. I’ve gone through so much things already over years ago. My life hasn’t really been so smooth. And maybe, in the future, at certain times, I may fail you, disappoint you or hurt you but I hope you can just bare with me for sometimes I’m silly, annoying, hard-headed, or sometimes I may mess up your day or night. But that’s what makes me human, sorry. I could never be perfect. I may utter words that could possibly hurt you or make you feel sad but that’s only when you did something wrong. We may fuss over little things but I will always make sure I won’t let you sleep mad at me. I was never capable of hurting someone intentionally. I say sorry when I am wrong and even when I am not. I oftentimes need encouraging, warm and pleasant words with sort of jokes whenever I feel down. I am melodramatic. I am sentimental. But my patience is way too long and I can understand you more than anybody could ever do. I am clingy. So much. I may text you first in the morning, send you 10-20 text messages telling you I miss you or call you a lot to wake you up. I am needy. I cannot wait to hold your hand and look at you. I want to stare at you. I would want to know your flaws and imperfections and love them just as much as I love you. I will always have time for you regardless I’m busy or not, I will find time for you. I wish to have long walks with you. Eat with you. Take pictures with you. Travel with you. Show you off. I want to be your best friend. I want to make you smile right after we fight. I can even go with you when you wanna play sports with your friends. I’ll cheer for you and kiss you right after whether you lose or win the game. I also wish to play games with you, even the simplest gaming apps on your phone. I wish to invite you home to have dinner with my family, and I could do the same to yours too. I will make you feel special everyday and will not get tired reminding you how much you mean to me. I will help you and support you with everything you’ve always wanted to achieve. I will respect you having girl friends. I will play with your siblings, your cousins, go out with them. I will help your mom out in a  grocery, or at home. I’ll do anything to get closer to them. I will try to be the best person that I can be. I will strive hard to be the one you deserve in every single day of your life.

I am telling you now, there is someone who can make up every bad thing that anybody has ever done to you, a person who will love you with all that you have and you won’t like anybody else. A person that will make you feel grateful for having her, after years of finding someone and not knowing what you want, it will now be clear and simple. You will appreciate what you’ve been given. You will be loved not by an option but by choice. You will be the happiest. You will know finally what you deserve. You will never again search for home, because you already have one.

That someone is me.

See you soon, love.


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