I think of you daily for months now. The days went on and they were all unpredictable. Some days were low and sad, some were up and bright. I used to call you a friend, then it came to the point that we acted like more than that. Until I almost said RIP to the friendship because you were troubled and then you left. Those days, weeks, without your messages put me down. I asked myself why it has to end in such a way. I put myself on the ground to realize if I really had lost something. Then I realized, why should I be sad if the one I love left me? You should be. Because you lost someone who loves you. I then convinced myself to cut ties and move on. But every time I go outside, something reminds you of me and I lose all the progress I made. Someone mentions your name, someone looks like you, someone smells like you, and it sucks that it all bring me back to where I started. I refused to reply on your text messages convincing myself that I could. But honestly, I’m hating myself every time I could not resist. Until one day, things do not bother me anymore. And then one day again, I think of you again and think of you more and more. Now, it is not your fault that I feel this way. It is not my fault as well but this is my choice. I hope there comes a day in our lives that we see each other happy with someone else’s arms, when neither of us is a trouble in mind or a chaos in head — the time that we could actually say, “We are very good friends.”

– AC
1:17 am


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